crazy-ness

Sometimes I really think that I shouldn't have agreed in the first place. Sometimes I feel that I should let others do the job. Sometimes I feel that, I should have the courage to say no.

One event happened after another and another, made me feel like giving everything up. Made me feel that I shouldn't have agreed. Made me realized too, how much I needed Him more. But when doors are open and things happen to make you feel like giving up, you wonder why the door has been opened in the first place. I'm kinda heading no where with the story or what-so-ever but, typing the whole story out might just offend certain parties.

anyhoo, I've given up the catering business for the time being. My oven died on me. Before that, my car window got smashed and took the brother's bag. The moment when you're all up and fired up for God, things start to happen. and yes, that's when i started questioning, again. And I'm reminded, again, how much more that I need to be closer. (oh.so.hard.i.tell.you)

and there's the sudden of piling up on my plate. I should really unload somewhere.

maybe

maybe being in this situation, things gets ugly
but maybe things will turn out for the better.

maybe, just by spending time builds a life long relationship

maybe, doing what you think its right isn't the right thing to do

maybe, sharing what you're going through helps to clear some junk in you.

maybe, just maybe.
yeah maybe.

things had been ugly. things had been worst. yet, I'm still grateful that every single step has been quite a journey. It isn't over. It has never been. Its still on going. Still struggling. Still accepting. Still angry and upset.

Just waiting for that day...but I guess that day is too far away. Someone once told me, "it happened 14 years ago, and I'm still going through." What more just four years?

maybe, just maybe. there's a silver lining after the storm, right?