a time to...

It's that time of the year again. Christmas. :D Where everyone is getting presents, setting up christmas trees, gathering recipes, planning holidays, caroling, christmas plays and so on. Love this time of the year. But as I grow older, I somehow feel the lack of Christmas spirit. The lack of thinking of what to give to someone. Lack of planning something special. I feel, just tired when Christmas comes around.

Maybe its just cause another new year is approaching too quickly.

Well, yeah, that.

What lies next year, is a mystery to me. Everything is still at a blur. Work is a blur. Income is at a blur state. but life still goes on. boy is getting older and growing, too fast. with all this season holiday and season change in life, trying my very best to submit my 2012 plans to Him.

Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
   and he will establish your plans

Proverbs 16:3

THE question

I am reminded how grace is given freely. How undeserving for me to receive it. How amazing, grace is. Looking back the past three years, He has proved Himself to be ever so faithful, ever so merciful, ever so forgiving, and is full of grace. How many times I really feel that I do not deserve all these but He still thinks I do.

Am reminded that I should count the lil blessings I receive. not to overlook any but to see how many times He has pulled me through. How another day had been a blessing. How much joy it is to be with the lil one. How the family and close friends had stick with me through my lowest point.

Sometimes it just takes a lil reminder to remind you to count your lil blessings one by one. And with that, you'll be amazed as to how much you've been blessed over the days, weeks, months and years. Treasure your moments.

I thought my day would end with that. Being grateful and thankful for all He's done. Till, lil one asked me the question. That fast? never underestimate a young one.

reflections

So I was randomly having a chat with a friend few days back. At first, it was those usuals and what nots and casual and yeah you the drift. With any conversations, there tend to be a serious part and yeap, it made me think alot. Not exactly during the time we were having the conversation but more to after. Like till now, and i guess the next few days. It got me thinking like how I ended up being like that. How and why I made those decisions and that it's alright for me to be this way. Looking back right now, somehow I find it hard sharing (and holding back that water works) and explaining why I made those decisions. I literally had to have some time to refresh my memory....and now, its playing in my head and haunting me ):


I guess sometimes its good to reflect on what has happened and why you made those decisions. And it is also important that if any of those unwanted memories which suddenly pops up, I guess, one has to just cry(?), scream(?), throw knives(?), or find something that helps you to feel better. Of course, praying and know that your past just makes you stronger (: